Educator Humor: Rules for Writing
Rules for Writing ... NOT!
Verbs HAS to agree with their subjects.
Prepositions are not words to end sentences with.
And don't start a sentence with a conjunction.
It is wrong to ever split an infinitive.
Avoid clichés like the plague. (They're old hat)
Also, always avoid annoying alliteration.
Be more or less specific.
Parenthetical remarks (however relevant) are (usually)
unnecessary.Also too, never, ever use repetitive redundancies.
No sentence fragments.
Contractions aren't necessary and shouldn't be used.
Foreign words and phrases are not apropos.
Do not be redundant; do not use more words than necessary; it's
highly superfluous.One should NEVER generalize.
Comparisons are as bad as clichés.
Don't use no double negatives.
Eschew ampersands & abbreviations, etc.
One-word sentences? Eliminate.
Analogies in writing are like feathers on a snake.
The passive voice is to be ignored.
Eliminate commas, that are, not necessary. Parenthetical words
however should be enclosed in commas.Never use a big word when a diminutive one would suffice.
Kill all exclamation points!!!
Use words correctly, irregardless of how others use them.
Understatement is always the absolute best way to put forth earth
shaking ideas.Use the apostrophe in it's proper place and omit it when its not
needed.Eliminate quotations. As Ralph Waldo Emerson said, "I hate
quotations. Tell me what you know."If you've heard it once, you've heard it a thousand times: Resist
hyperbole; not one writer in a million can use it correctly.Puns are for children, not groan readers.
Go around the barn at high noon to avoid colloquialisms.
Even IF a mixed metaphor sings, it should be derailed.
Who needs rhetorical questions?
Exaggeration is a billion times worse than understatement.
Educator Humor
5:30 AM | Labels: english, grammar, humor | 0 Comments
English 101: Print and tape to forehead ...
From English 101:
They're / There / Their
Than / Then
Apostrophes (when to use them and w'hen no't to'o)
To / Too / Two
Affect / Effect
"Alot" is not a word
By / Buy / Bye
Loose / Lose
Passed / Past
Some spellings are rediculous
Plain / Plane
To unthaw something is to freeze it. (see "thaw")
Wander / Wonder
Weather / Whether / Wether
Where / Were (vs "wear")
Who / Whom
Whose / Who's
Your / You're
Brake / Break
Breath / Breathe
Compliment / Complement
Fair / Fare
For / Four / Fore
Be well, and do good work.
Lead / Led
Allowed / Aloud
Hole / Whole
Cite / Site / Sight
Hear / Here
1:27 PM | Labels: english, grammar, spelling | 0 Comments
The OFFICIAL Dilbert Widget
- dogs
- rescue
- pets
- NYT
- humor
- snicker
- books
- poodles
- reading
- NPR
- animals
- UTube
- horse racing
- poetry
- puppy mills
- video
- Mutts
- cruelty
- mcsweeneys
- Garrison Keillor
- abuse
- discovery channel
- horses
- philosophy
- vick
- candidates
- cars
- cats
- depression
- discovery news
- eight belles
- minnesota vikings
- photos
- television
- wikihow
- writer's almanac
- National Geographic
- Robert Frost
- The Old Scout
- Unitarians
- baby
- best friends
- coffee
- cute
- domestic abuse
- english
- grammar
- jesse bering
- kenechi udeze
- memory
- morality
- obesity
- pit bulls
- politics
- quirky little things
- rent
- sydney morning herald
- the onion
- women
- AFV
- Conditions and Diseases
- Dog
- John Grat
- Michael Smerconish
- Minnesota
- PETA
- Pain Management
- Poodle
- Rescues and Shelters
- Toy Poodle
- Valentine's Day
- Virtual reality
- accident
- aging
- anger
- animal rights activists
- animal testing
- animal welfare groups
- ayn rand
- ball state university
- barbaro
- bats
- best friend
- bird
- birds
- blogger
- blogs
- bulwer lytton
- campaign
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- cancer
- canine horizons
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- cat people
- cell phones
- child
- clock
- clowns
- communication
- companionship
- deer
- digital
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- dog fighting
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- duluth news tribune
- editing
- edmonton sun
- election
- elephants
- employees
- employers
- euthanasia
- exploitation
- extinct
- fiction contest
- football
- friends
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- games
- gastric bypass
- global warming
- grooming
- huh?
- humane nation
- ikramuddin
- insurance
- intelligence
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- jay leeming
- jim nayder
- lancaster online
- laura erickson
- library
- literature
- loneliness
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- michael vick
- miss bea
- morning
- nbc news
- npr music
- old age
- pandas
- people
- petfinder
- philadelphia enquirer
- photo contests
- photography
- photoshop
- picket fence poodle rescue
- pogue's posts
- polar bear
- ponydoodles
- protection
- puppies
- radio
- relationships
- romance
- romantic
- rosalie
- safety
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- seattle post-intelligencer
- seinfeld
- slate.com
- sleep
- soldier
- soul
- speaking
- spelling
- sport
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- stephen king
- surgery
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- think
- transplants
- trauma
- veterinarians
- virtual pets
- voting
- warnings
- wayne pacelle
- weight loss
- wind turbines
- work