By Jesse Bering, Ph.D. in Quirky Little Things


It's a good thing I'm not a clinical psychologist, because try as I might to be nonjudgmental there are a lot of things about other people that make me uneasy. There are a lot of things about myself that make me uneasy too, so don't think I'm being elitist. I'm not talking about any big ticket moral issues like whether someone's had an abortion or committed adultery. Those are just conversation starters for me. Rather, it's the little things that have me recoiling. Men with long fingernails have always been off-putting, as have sandal-wearing women who've grown out their toenails. And the sight of a grown man displaying affection towards his cat is also unsettling.

What motivates this post is my curiosity about why I feel embarrassed
to be seen being affectionate to Tommy. It's not that I'm ‘ashamed' of
our relationship -- that would be too strong. It's just that I'm
somewhat reluctant to display affection in public, at least compared to
the pride and affection I show more or less unreservedly for my dogs.
There's some voice in my head telling me grown men shouldn't love cats.
Of course I don't believe this and I should say Tommy gets plenty of
serious cuddling time most nights. But somewhere along the way I must
have been infected by this gender-based stereotype, since my public
behaviour and my slightly negative attributions toward other men with
their own cats betrays my acceptance of this unspoken social norm.

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