Educator Humor: Ruminations


  1. Although I can accept talking scarecrows, lions and great wizards of
    emerald cities, I find it hard to believe there is no paperwork
    involved when your house lands on a witch. --Dave James

  2. Let face facts, shall we? There is a very real possibility that this
    could also be the *last* day of the rest of your life. --Dave Henry

  3. Sometimes I think astronauts are the luckiest people on earth, but
    only when they're in space. --Alan Smithee

  4. I think it says a lot about our nation's skewed priorities that we
    give the President the unbridled authority to preempt any television
    program, even during prime-time. --Matt Diamond

  5. If at first, you don't succeed, does it depress you that no one is
    surprised? --Jim Lockwood

  6. I'm glad the electric chair is the only method of capital punishment
    that involves powered furniture. Just imagine being executed by an
    adjustable bed. --Paul Paternoster

  7. Whenever someone asks me what two plus two equals, I just shake my
    head and laugh at them for asking such a dumb question, even though I
    really don't know the answer. What gullible fools. --Will Gillespie

  8. I think gods don't smite people anymore because people of many
    different religions now live in the same town. No god wants to
    accidentally smite the wrong person and get sued by another god.
    --David James

  9. Sometimes when I'm sitting in my car at a stop light, I imagine
    myself as Luke Skywalker, and I close my eyes and concentrate on
    using The Force. Sometimes I have to concentrate longer than others,
    but I know it works, 'cause the light always turns green. --Troy
    Peterson

  10. If I had a dollar for every casino in the world, I'd probably lose it
    all gambling. --Paul Bartunek

  11. I've heard people say the electric chair is "cruel and unusual", but
    I think it's a lot quicker and more humane than its predecessor, the
    steam chair. --Claire Voltaire, inspired by Paul Paternoster

  12. One day, I'm gonna finally get up enough courage to actually go
    skydiving, rather than just being thrown out of the plane like last
    time. --LeMel Hebert-Williams

  13. I think a secure profession for young people is history teacher,
    because in the future, there will be so much more of it to teach.
    --Bill Muse

  14. They say potato chips can be fattening. But then again, so is eating
    fat, and you don't see me eating fat. So get off my back about the
    potato chips, man. --Brian Auten

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